Motherhood. That word has taken on a whole new meaning for me since having my daughter. Before I had my own child I believed that motherhood was just playing house really. That you had a baby, took it home, dressed up cute and life would be grand. But after feeling Adylee kick for the first time I just felt something inside me change. From that one kick she gave my life a new purpose.
I wanted to be so much more, give her more and just ultimately do better for her and for myself. I was just completely in love with the little human growing inside of me a billion times more than I was when I first found out I was pregnant. She just saved me in every single way that someone can be saved. From going to being emotionally and physically abused to then being a mom...I've been through it all. But in the end, I came out stronger.
I literally believe that Adylee is a miracle of life. I'm not trying to push my beliefs on anyone but after the hell I went through being pregnant, I would say that I thank God every day for my own life but for also giving me my daughter. We almost died during my gallbladder surgery that I had when I was 20 weeks pregnant. We went through a lot together and I have to say that it made our bond as mother and child grow immensely. As soon as the doctor placed her on my chest I made a promise to her. That from there on out it was Adylee and I against the world. And it's been that way ever since.
Now motherhood is not just a fantasy of pretty dresses and going out. It's full of exploded diapers, spit up, late nights, getting up at 2 am to find a pacifier, sick babies who just wanna cuddle with their mommy, and so much more. But the best part? When she looks at me and says "mommy." I melt every single time. She could've just done something I told her not to do and all she has to say is mommy and I'm a puddle. I love being called mommy. It's my favorite word that she has learned. When she needs me and is screaming it out, I can't help but feel like I'm super woman to her. I'm all she has. Because of that, I do everything I can to provide for Adylee on my own. I know she doesn't really understand it now but i know that one day she will look back and appreciate everything that I have done for her.
I am so grateful to be a mom. I wouldn't trade my life for anything in the world. It's EXACTLY who I want to be. I truly don't remember much of my life before having Adylee but that's okay, because now....my life has a whole new meaning and purpose. So to me motherhood is finding yourself. Finding out who you are and becoming someone you never dreamed you would become. I plan on teaching that to Adylee once she is older and I hope that she takes pieces of the mom I have been to her and applies to her own children one day. But for now, were just on an amazing journey of finding out what life has in store for the both of us next.